one-three-point-one

i completed my first half marathon on sunday, October 17, 2010.

did you read that?! i'm not sure you did, so let me say it again:

i completed my first half marathon on sunday!

it took me a few days to write this blog because i wanted to honor all the feelings i was having, without trying to confine and constrict them into words. for, as it turns out my friends, some feelings just don't have words. they're too big and too powerful for words - at least the ones in my lexicon!

so, i need to talk about race weekend, from beginning to end. and i will try to be as descriptive as possible, and share as much with you as i can possibly fit into words. deal?

i didn't sleep much the week before my race. i was too excited. like that commercial where the little boy is in bed and his mom gives him a kiss and tells him to go to sleep, but he's imagining himself meeting mickey mouse and going on the teacups and he squeals, "but i'm too excited to sleep!" yeah, kinda like that. i believe my adrenaline officially started pumping at least 96 hours prior to the race, and just flew through my body for, well, i'll let you know when it stops.

since i'd been spending months ensuring that my body was tuned up and ready to race, i decided to spend friday morning ensuring that my car was ready for the trip to sf. i got an oil change, tire rotation and car wash before meeting some of my favorite well-wishers - the goettches - for lunch, and doing some design work for my buddy candice. then i went to mom and dad's to get laundry washed and ready for the big weekend. i got home around 1130pm, not tired at all, but headed to bed anyway and attempted to sleep, which, true to form, i didn't.

so anyway, i "wake up" from my "slumber" saturday morning, and i start packing my bag. shoes went in first, but not before i took the photo above. then my singlet, my running tights, socks, sports bra, deodorant, athletic tape, cap, water bottle and TNT paperwork packet. afterall, those were the essential elements. from there i threw in some clothes, toiletries, etc and waited patiently for michelle, my training buddy, to arrive. she and i decided to drive down to san francisco together, since her family would meet her on sunday. she arrived at my house right around 930am and, i was so excited of course, that i was waiting for her, car packed, on the sidewalk outside my house. her husband pulled up with her in the passenger seat and her two sweet girls, paige (8) and mia (4), checking out the scene from the back seat. as her hubby put her suitcase in my car, she kissed her girls, then him and then we hopped in my car. HERE WE GO!

we buckle up, i pop open the sunroof and pull away from the curb, and drive about 50 yards down my street when i realize that my car just doesn't feel right. "dude, does my car feel like it's pulling to the right," i asked michelle. she answered affirmative so i pulled over, hopped back out and ran to the passenger side front tire. sure as shame it was completely flat. instantly stressed (not to mention terribly embarrassed), i threw the car in reverse and backed up all the way to my house. i called my dad (aka superman) and shared my alarming news. as we all might have expected, dad showed up STAT, with mom in tow. as mom, michelle and i began unloading the ridiculous amounts of stuff from my trunk (we all know i live in my car), dad attempted to fill the flat tire with his air compressor. as the air went in, it went directly back out what we later discovered was a deliberate slit in my tire, made by some kind of knife.

yes, some asshole (pardon my language) knifed my tire on possibly the worst possible day. dad got the spare tire out of my trunk, along with the factory equipped hand jack (which, by the way, is ridiculously hard to remove from its tidy little compartment. thanks Honday), and began to change my tire. i called the tire store and ensured that they had a tire in stock, and as soon as dad had installed my spare, michelle and i piled back into the car and headed for the shop. we were about a mile and a half from my house when i got a call from mom, frantically telling me to stop driving, and asking where we were. i gave her our location and promised to pull over. a few seconds later, she and dad appeared in my rear-view mirror, pulling up behind us. traffic whizzing by on our left, dad jumped out of the driver's side of his truck and ran to the tire he'd replaced minutes before. in all his rushing to get us out of town, my sweet pops had forgotten to tighten the lugnuts on the spare! he completed his job, gave me a quick hug and we took off, once again, to the tire store.

at this point i have to pause and say a special thanks to michelle. oh my goodness. she was so kind and understanding and supportive! she kept me so calm! i felt so awful that she was having to experience this craziness, but she was a total trooper. and she would continue to be, as the day progressed.

sweet mom and dad followed us all the way to the tire store and waited with us until my car had been taken into a stall and work on it had begun. in about an hour's time, we were off and on our way to san francisco once more! michelle and i both agreed that we were exactly where we should be, and that this minor - albeit freak - setback was not a setback at all.

upon arrival in san francisco, we drove around for a while trying to locate the super cheap garage we'd reserved for parking. after locating the garage, checking in and walking through san francisco's famous "tenderloin" district (not famous for anything positive, i might add) with our luggage, handbags and everything else, we finally arrived at The Handlery, the cute boutique hotel where we would be staying with our team. not even a full city block from Union Square, it was an excellent location and a nice little place (i'd stayed there before for a work function). there were several team in training folks from other chapters gathered in the small lobby, chatting busily. i approached the registration desk, presented my driver's license and credit card, and waited for the desk staff to check me in. as he searched the computer, he asked if i had a roommate, and i told him i was supposed to, but that i didn't know who it was, that TNT was to have assigned it to me. seconds later still, he asked if i had any kind of confirmation number, which, of course, i didn't, since TNT had taken care of all of our travel. i really didn't begin to worry until he asked me to wait a moment while he checked with his manager, and disappeared into a back door.

meanwhile michelle checked in with ease, and waited patiently (notice a theme here? poor girl!) for me. once the gentleman returned with his manager in tow, i was informed that they did not have me on their "list," and that they did not have a room for me. i'm sorry, what? oh yes, friends, you read that right. no name, no room. i was s-o-l.

nerves were about to eat me alive at this point. a) i wasn't entirely sure that i was in my right mind - i had, in fact, committed to walking a half marathon in less than 24 hours; b) i was pretty sure that there was NO WAY i would actually be able to complete said half marathon; c) i was running on little to no sleep at this point; d) i had poor enough karma that the universe thought it would be fun to allow someone to slash my tire on the day i was supposed to drive myself - and an unsuspecting teammate - to our event; and now e) having *finally* made it safely to said event, there was nowhere for me to (try to) sleep before i attempted 13.1. yeah, one could say i was on edge.

fighting back tears of frustration (and, i'll admit, a little self-pity), i pulled out the yelllow information sheet provided to us, and dialed one of the TNT staff numbers. to my horror, the staff person didn't answer, so i tried person number two. luckilly this time i reached a woman named marsha, who let me know she was in her hotel room just around the corner (was she trying to rub salt in the wound? hahaha), and would be right over. i let michelle know what was going on, and so, while we waited, we checked our heavy bags in with the bellhop and sat down on a sofa against the window facing geary.

marsha came in wearing her own running gear, carrying a large, white binder with several colored tabs. she sat down next to me and flipped to the "accomodations" section, and immediately began running her finger down a list of names, presumably looking for mine. after three different runs through the same list, she looked up at me and said "i'm not sure what to do." certainly not the answer i was looking for. it was approximately 230pm and michelle and i still needed to pick up our race-day packets and get to the moscone center for our inspiration dinner, before 530pm. a solution to my housing problem needed to come, pronto.

3... 2... 1... go!

Its the morning of my first half marathon. I'm in the lobby of Michelle's hotel (more on that later), waiting to walk to the start. Its cool & breezy outside but I'm all warm & giddy on the inside. I feel super nervous, but ready. Ready to walk a few blocks to Union Square and line up with 20,000 women (and some men too) and walk my little heart out. I can't wait to see survivors & their families, our coaches & mentors, all cheering us on & giving us much-needed positive energy.

Last night at the Inspiration dinner (it really lived up to its name, but more on that later, too), the emcee said "you will begin this race a certain woman, and be a completely different woman after you cross the finish." I believe that and I'm ready to experience it! Wish me luck!

Besos,

Liz

'twas the night before the night before race day

i should be packing for my race, michelle and i leave tomorrow morning around 10am for the City. we'll park at ezpark, check in at the hotel, go pick up our packets and check out the expo. probably talk a LOT about our nerves, and go to the TNT pasta party. then i'll head to my room and ice my ankle and knee for a while before i turn in for sleep. i hope.

i'm not sure when i've been so excited for something, at least not recently. i mean i've been excited for things - parties, weddings, new babies, graduations, etc. but i have butterflies whizzing around in my tummy in a way that i haven't felt since christmas eve circa 1987. it's excitement, anxiety, pride and even a little sadness, all rolled into one. i'm excited because i've never done something this big - a 20,000 person event that brings a city to its knees for a day? no, never! i'm anxious because i don't exactly know what to expect - from the course, the city, the weather or my body. let's all remember i do have an angry ankle and a bum knee. i'm proud because i'm actually doing it - something i never thought i could. and i'm a little sad because this moment is bittersweet; my TNT experience is coming to a close, and all that energy i've been feeding off of from each of you, as well as the support from my teammates and TNT staff, is winding down. my wednesday evenings and saturday mornings are now my own again, and i'm not sure that i like it!

like i said before, i should be packing, but i'm here, on the computer, chronicling these precious last pre-race days. i'm hoping to bring my computer with me and write a little on saturday night, just before i go to sleep, so stay tuned!

besos!

Goooooooal!

I kind of can't believe that my event is almost here! Less than two weeks to go... it's insane! I am so excited and nervous and jittery every time I think about it. I don't remember being this excited about achieving a goal since the day I turned in my Master's thesis back in 2007!

Speaking of goals, this has really served as a good reminder about the importance of goals, specifically measurable ones that have a timeline associated with them. Of course I have this goal of someday *finally* being paid what I'm worth, or at some point traveling all over South America for weeks on end, but this race - and thinking back to my thesis - make me remember how important it is for my mental and emotional (and in this case physical) health, to set my mind to doing something, assigning a timeline to that decision and putting in the work to achieve it. Setting goals is something we all think about, talk about or at minimum hear about. Some people in my life actually set and achieve them, but I think for the most part, most people take the idea of a goal for granted, or think of it as some kind of formality. As I type this very paragraph, I am further realizing that I think a new part of my life will be choosing, very strategically, goals that will make me a better person.

Along that same line, I believe that, in my darkest times, those training sessions where I was only one mile into a six- or seven-mile walk, and I was more sore than usual, or more tired or more winded or more thirsty or tired or hungry (or fill in the blank here) than usual and I just didn't think there was any possible way that I could walk all that way, or raise all that money, I gently reminded myself that my big mouth had told everyone I know (and some strangers too) that I was doing this half marathon. In the moments when, (and yes, I am ashamed to admit there were these moments) reminding myself that the cancer patients and survivors I am walking to honor and raise funds for, couldn't stop their fights with cancer and therefore neither could I stop my training, in those times when that just didn't seem to cut it, ACCOUNTABILITY is what did. Knowing that people were going to ask each week how my training was, and, ultimately, how my event went, pushed me through it all.

So, it seems, for some of us, purely setting a goal isn't quite enough. For some of us - myself in particular - setting a goal and then blabbing all over the world about it, creating that social pressure (aka accountability) is key. While I think that I should love and value myself enough that being accountable only to me would do the trick, I'm just not there - yet - and I need that extra peer pressure.

So, I am interested in suggestions for my next goal. I wonder if I should continue focusing on this fitness goal, perhaps shooting for another half marathon at a quicker pace, or taking up a new activity. Or maybe I should focus on something else altogether? If you're reading, please provide a suggestion. I can't make any promises at this point about what I'll end up choosing to work on, as I think that I need to complete this goal in its entirety (I'm almost there!) and then choose the next goal. But your ideas will provide more food for thought, and I'd definitely appreciate that!

Besos,

Liz