in about twelve hours i will gather with x number of new and old tnt (that's short for "team in training" - plan to see a lot of those three letters in the coming months) members at folsom college for the fall 2010 kickoff. and my first tnt workout. i'll meet my teammates, my coach, and hopefully get some more details about training responsibilities (outside of wed/sat workouts), and fundraising activities. woah. this is very real. i'm a little scared and a LOT excited!
the reality of raising $2,500 in the next five months is setting in, and kind of freaking me out. oh and the reality that i have approximately 20 weeks to prepare my body to walk up and down 13.1 miles of hilly san francisco, is also looming. i have been walking two or three miles twice or three times per week. and today i decided i would ride my *new* bike to work (2.5 miles), to a meeting (3 miles) and home from the meeting (1.3 miles). for those of you keeping track, that's biking barely half of this half-marathon i've committed to myself. and in case you weren't paying attention, i didn't run that, i didn't even walk that, i biked that. and my quads are not happy. this does not give me a lot of confidence at the moment.
but i just have to keep telling myself that i can do it. even if i don't believe that i really can at the moment (i'm pretty on the fence), i have to keep saying it over and over. it's the ultimate fake-it-til-you-make-it situation. i've got to fake the faith in myself until i have practiced and worked enough to know i can do it. whew. this is new for me. not the physical activity - there was a time in my life where i was active. not the challenge, either. but the self-doubt. i'm slowly realizing that i've never really taken on any challenge that i wasn't positive i could finish, and finish successfully, at that. this is new territory and it is uncomfortable. but uncomfortable in a good way, if you can believe that. it's actually exciting. and daunting. could i be any more contradictory? isn't it obnoxious to read all of these oxymorons i'm spewing? yeah, well, WELCOME TO MY BRAIN these days!
whew. okay. i need to hydrate. all this stressing is making me thirsty. and then i need to get some sleep. because, after my tnt kickoff and first work out, i'm going to pick up two of my smalles fans (jessalyn and michael) for a long walk at the UC Davis Arboretum, some mother's day crafting and a sleepover - long, long night guaranteed. i won't be able to blog about the event until sunday or monday, but that's probably a good thing because it will have time to "marinate" in this overactive mind of mine, and maybe i'll make some sense. or at least more sense than i've made in this entry (wink wink).
besos,
liz
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